Frustated me.

The frustatation began when i first open my eyes this morning at 8.00++am. OK, it's quite late to wake up at this time, but i accidentally fall asleep while bf ZR after Subuh prayer.

So, I'm frustated because i woke up late? NO, of coz not because of that. I'm not blaming myself for that, mybe i deserve that longgg sleep this morning since ZR is hardly asleep last night, so I have to comfort and please her until she lost the battle :) and coincidentally pulak, SH pun don't know why bangun as  early as 3.00am++ last night. "nak ipad"...n mcm2 la kerenah ank kecil itu yg terpaksa dihandle oleh Abah, sampai Abah terpksa dukung kat bahu and watch movie sampai SH tertidur kat bahu...And, Abah pulak terus melayan movie until it's dawn..around 5.20am...

Ok, back to the subject.

I woke up with a shock cause i heard SH's voice. She said 'tumpah, tumpahhh'...and when i realized it, it was already too late..my expressed milk was spilt on the mattress...all is WET.

I remembered the bottles are full with 10oz of my EBM. It's my routine to wake up at 4.00am++ every morning to do pumping, and normally i will straight away keep them in the fridge...but this morning, i just put it on the table coz i thought of keeping it later...

But, i was so FRUSTATED that all has spilt and it's only around 2oz left in one of the bottle.The other one is EMPTY.

Rasa nak marah, but i'm not supposed to, it's my fault that i put the milk within her reach.She climbed the chair and hold that 2 bottles  and it was spilt over.She doesn't did that on purpose.I knew it.

I then terus berlari ke dapur to save the other 2oz. While running downstairs, i heard bunyi2 kat luar "Oh, my husband watering his plants, and me boleh baru bagun tidur pulak" kata aku dlm hati. Aku turun dengan bunyi yang bising, pasal marah SH, eh, aku marah ke? Aku just cakap "Nape SH tumpahkan susu mak?" arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.....

Dari luar my husband jerit ;

Hubby : "Nape tu?"
Me:  "SH tumpahkan susu i..."

Kat dapur,Aku campak bottle susu tu dlam sink, and campak accesories2 pump tuh jugak.Intentionally doing that to express my frustation.Crying...(mcm budak2)...but seriosuly I'm so frustated. Ask other mums out there, mesti frsut giler jugak kalo susu yang suda di'pump' dgn penuh kasih syg...tumpah begitu sahaja..banyak pulak tu...aduuhhhhh....

And, dari luar, i heard my husband rushed to the kitchen, maybe dengar dentuman2 botol2 yang aku campak tadi..

He then hugged and comfort me (sbb aku nagis tu, aku kn jarang menangis) :)

Hubby : "Sabarlah, SH tu kita yng kena bentuk dia..u kan mak, apa yang u cakap and buat tuh doa untuk anak2.."

Me : " I xcakap pe2pun kat dia.. " (maybe hubby ingat aku dah marah and keluarkan kata2 xbest kt SH)..I'm just so frust la..

Hubby : Xperlah..stock u kan byk lagi, i tahu u penat bagun pagi2 nak pump susu, InsyAllah ada rezeki lagi banyak nanti.."..

Me : Hmmmm..(silent).

Then, aku naik atas. SH tgh main Ipad. Aku rs nak nagis lagi..so aku pun nagis.Bile SH nampak aku nagis, dia pun nagis jugak and datang kt aku.

I hugged her.

Huh, dramatik sungguh awal2 pagi Sabtu ni.

At the end, terpaksalah aku mengemop n m'febrezze' lantai and karpet rumah yang dh terkena curahan air susu aku tuh...tau la kan EBM..bau dia agak lain cket..

nasib baik ada FEBREZE. Thanks FEBREZEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!

And, thanks hubby, and I love you SH. Semoga terus diberi kekuatan untuk membesarkan anak2 ini.

terus aku google psl "how to cope your children's tantrums?'..maybe next entry aku nak cakap pasal ni jugak.This is very important topic to me, since from my observations, SH sejak ada ZR ni, lain macam sikit kerenah nya..maybe she needs more attention, afraid of losing our love etc..

You should knw my dear, you are our heart forever, and nothing gonna change that.

maybe, she's too young to understand this.